A Ranting Pianist's Christmas Wish List

Dear Santa, would you please send me...

• The energy to Google whether it's pianists or pianist's... Bloody grammar...

• Finnish Tax System for Dummies and Freelancers. (Audiobook with free form-filling tutorials would be lovely.)

• A nice long holiday, with the ability to enjoy it. (After two free days the thoughts start coming: Free means no money - Holiday means nobody needs you - Time off really is just a fancy way of saying unemployed - Aren't you such a failure and a disgrace.)

• A left hand technique improving night cream. (Apply a thick layer to clean skin, leave for the night. Play Chopin etudes in the morning with the ease and velocity of an Asian child prodigy, no practicing required.)

• A grant or two, or three. Preferably ones I don't have to apply for, or write reports about. (So if you'd just send me money, basically, that would be great. Or a millionaire sugar daddy could also work.)

• A magic potion that erases stress from my life. (Feeling anxious, panicky, stressed, freaked out? No worries! Just take a sip of this and all of it magically goes away! Sounds a lot like alcoholism, doesn't it? Probably not a good idea to publish this one.)

• The motivation to complete the Yoga with Adrienne 30 days of yoga challenge. (Last time I tried I managed to do five of them, and that took me four weeks or so. I know I'm better than this.)

• Work, work, work, but not all at the same time. Could you spread it evenly throughout the year this time? With that stress-free holiday in the middle, thank you!

• Joy and gratitude. About things big and small, every day.

• 12 new blog post ideas. Please send the first one asap.